You can find "reins" in senior, but I'm not talking about horses.

My panties are all in a wad these days.

I'm on the verge of bursting into tears, or scream singing the hallelujah chorus. Notice I said the word "or." The problem, friends, is that I can't decide which to do. So instead of choosing, this decision suddenly morphs into a [seriously attractive] sobbing/singing combo that doesn't sound angelic at all.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. I haven't actually cried.

But I won't be surprised when these flood gates burst wide open.

It's time, people.

My senior year has fast approached, and I'm curious as to whether or not I'm liking this fact. Wasn't it just last week that I was walking across the little Mingo Valley Christian School stage with my other fifteen classmates, excited to start college life?

I hardly recognize this innocent, little face full of hopes and dreams and very very unrealistic goals. Ha. She doesn't know anything.

I've been caught up in this glorious college whirlwind for so long, it feel so foudroyant [from my Word of the Day app, be impressed] to suddenly be plopped down on my tiny feet, wondering where in the world I am and [most importantly] where I should go.

There are too many question marks in my future.

I guess that's the scary part and why I

shutter to think about May.

Where will I go? What will I do? Who will I be with?

The options are limitless, and at the same time, quite limited. . .

if that makes any sense at all.

I'm worried about not getting a job post-graduation. I'm scared to have to ask my parents if I can have my old room back, and feeling like the ultimate failure. I'm afraid of ending up alone.

Basically, I'm terrified of failure. Like really.

I know everyone is to some extent, but it's like this little monkey on my back

has suddenly evolved into a giant, insatiable gorilla. And I'm just a little nervous about this

huge primate on top of me.

It's easy to "do" college and be a good student. But real life?

Life outside of Sooner football, date parties, RUF, good friends, roommates, nannying...

It's all just a tinsy bit frightening.

That being said, I plan to make the most of this last time in college.

Hello, senior year.