Thursday, September 16, 2010

You can find "Ease" in Eraser, but that doesn't make it "Easy"

As I'm trudging through the work on my first novel's rough [and I do mean rough] draft, I can't help but liken myself to the daunting pages on the screen. Obviously, these are my
words, my thoughts, my characters. The draft is, in that sense, a part of me.

But I'm talking about something different.
I'm referring to actually being the rough draft.

It's funny how right you think you've got everything when you're writing. Or at least, I do.
I smile as I come up with the perfect metaphor, a vivid description for what I'm trying to convey.

Naively, I hand it in to my professor.

...Turns out, [and I know this is going to shock you] my work is not nearly as brilliant as I thought. It needed drastic improvements, changes for even my very best sections. It was disheartening. But also, exciting. The process is the fun part, after all. You work and work until the best version finally slaps you in the face.

Kinda like life.
I can always be edited. I can always be rearranged and improved.
The problem is allowing this to happen, allowing the editor to guide me.

So if I'm the rough draft, God must be the editor.
And he is a beautiful, just, and gracious editor, don't you agree?
He always gets it right. His ideas are always the ideal, the perfect ones.

And sometimes this editing process is hard. Sometimes, it just plain sucks. We become immensely fond of what we have written, the pages of our lives. We don't see
any good reason to delete, to start again, to write anew.

He erases the sentences, the metaphors that we think we just can't live without.
Showing us new possibilities, he steers us in directions we couldn't have
fathomed on our own. Out of love, always out of love for his creation.

And though the editing process may be difficult, we know the editor has
us in his hands. We know he cares for us, more than we can ever imagine.

Through him, we can be made into a moving, intriguing, whole stories. Without him,
we remain fragments on the page... incomplete and unfinished.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I thought I knew what homework was

...Until this semester.

I don't think I have ever been this overloaded. Sure, I've cried. I've panicked. I've invested in every color post-it note known to mankind in my not-so-distant college days. I thought I was busy; I wondered how in the world I was going to get everything done. But I didn't really know anything, I'm coming to find out. Cause busy has just reared it's ugly, hairy head at me.

I was like a kid in a pool freaking out over a soggy leaf floating next to me [thanks Doug Serven]. That was amateur stuff. And now, my friends, I'm hitting the big time. By "big" time, I mean "book" time, or "staring-at-my-computer-trying-to-write-an-amazing-novel" time. 
And it's just not all that fun.

My blogging life has suffered tremendously. Are you sad? Because I sure am. 

It's a real pain, this school thing. I love school, but I also kind of hate it.
I used to think that I would really enjoy college when I was doing what I wanted to do.

I'm doing nothing BUT reading and writing [lots and lots and lots and lots of writing] 
this semester and all instead of making my days that much more wonderful,
it kinda makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. 

My classes aren't necessarily hard [except the one major exception of novel class], 
they're just time consuming. And that's the worst.
It's my senior year, and there is just a whole lot I would rather be
doing than yet another reading assignment.

I guess, I shouldn't complain.
I could be picking the plaque off of someone's unbrushed teeth
like my roommate. Or I could be working on a dead body, fiddling with
the innards and memorizing all the little, gruesome details. 
Or I could be doing math, any and ALL kinds of math.

Still, I wish I had more time for things that are actually fun.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Dear Novel Class,

You will not defeat me.
Prepare to be dominated.

The Optimistic One

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I'm not a very good fan

I went to a football game this weekend, as I always do when Sooner football rolls around. It's one of my favorite parts of being at The University of Oklahoma, for sure. I mean, you can't exactly beat screaming with 85,000 other fans at the big boys in red pounding each other on the field [can you imagine trying to feed those guys?].

I realize, readers, not all of you may know what Boomer Sooner football is all about [which is kind of shocking and depressing and you should probably go do something about that], but all you really need to understand is that we're kind of a big deal.

Because we're such a big deal, football season in Norman is basically the highlight of everyone's weekends/years/lives. It's true. Streets are completely closed down for tailgaters. Crazed fans grab their beer and OU paraphernalia and stake our their spots. No matter where you are in relation to the stadium, you can always hear an obnoxiously loud person shouting "BOOMER" and faithful fans will respond "SOONER."

Essentially, Norman revolves around the Sooners. So, if you don't go the games on Saturday, you'd best just stay at home cause you're not going to be able to get anywhere. [Have I mentioned that we're kind of a big deal?]

Well, I was especially excited because G-money got to tag along! We snuck him in with a friend's student ID and he got to sit with us in the student section [when I say "sit," I really mean "stand" for like four hours]. I was eager to show him what OU football and most importantly, what WINNING was all about. After all, we were playing Utah State. Everyone knew we were going to destroy them.


We were scared for the entire second half. It seemed like our boys were never going to take the football out of their buns and actually play the way everyone wanted them to. I mean it was embarrassing how awful we played. I found myself starting to agree with all the mean Sooner-haters, who say we are the most overrated team in the country. I was grumpy and I wanted to leave.

See? I'm an awful fan.
A few things go wrong, and I'm out. I've already kicked them to the curb.
Even Grahm, who didn't even go to OU and doesn't even consider himself a fan was more interested in the game.

So this whole fiasco made me wonder if it's the Sooners I love, or the winning.

Aren't you glad your friends and family aren't like this?
The only time they'll root for you, or care about you is if you're winning and at the top of your game?

When you throw yet another interception, when you launch the ball over the receiver's head for the millionth time, when you miss the tackle... Aren't you glad they aren't standing like angry fans in the stands, screaming their frustrations in unison?

Boy, I sure am.

It's nice to know that no matter how poorly you "play," they still love you and are gonna be there again next week to watch and cheer.

I guess it's a good thing all fans [of football teams or people] are not like me.