Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My boyfriend thinks I'm fat.

Yeah, that's right.
Come on down to the land of thunder thighs and quadruple chins, where the fried chicken and buttermilk biscuits flow like the cellulite on my hind parts.

Okay, he doesn't actually think I'm the large-and-in-charge Oompa Loompa that I'm claiming to be. [See, babe? I was nice.]

he did give me this book and told me to go on a diet.

That's right, a diet. The worst word in the entire dictionary. A word so potent, it can make even the jolliest of men shudder over a warm plate of mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak. Bloated to guilty in .005 seconds.

Have you ever noticed that edit and diet use the same letters? This is no coincidence, since we are all constantly editing our dietary plans. We look to the sky and sing like little orphan Annie "Toooomorrow, Toooomorrow! I love ya tomorrow!" for that is when my healthy life will begin. [Commence eating the chocolate cake.]

Well, I am definitely no exception.

I hate eating healthy. The occasional veggie or fruit, doesn't dampen my style too much, especially if it's on top of a pancake, or caked with ranch dressing. But make it an everyday, five-times-a-day habit?
Yeah, I don't think so.

The reason Grahm told me to go on a diet was not because he was afraid I would soon outweigh him. [Although I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be too difficult.] But I had recently been complaining to him about running and how hard it is and how much I suck.

Last year I completed two marathons and thought I was legit.

This year, I wanted to do the same. But training is proving to be grueling, time consuming, and just horrible. It's always been hard and a huge time-sucker, but it has never been this
un-fun. And I'm only at the three-miler marker.

Ergo, the diet book.
Eat healthy, run better. Yada yada.
Flipping through it merely made me want to hit my nearest Cane's chicken and
order a double helping of french fries.

But [much to my chagrin] it was a little eye-opening. I eat terribly.
And there's just really no excuse for it, people.

This semester, I think I'm going to forego my third marathon and focus on
school, but I AM going to try to eat better.
[Notice I'm avoiding saying the word "diet."]

Maybe, I'll actually drink some water.
Maybe, I'll eat an apple just for the heck of it.
Here's to being healthy in 2010.

[No boyfriends were embarrassed in the making of this blogpost.]


  1. I read Suicide by Sugar the other day for my Honors class, and it completely changed my perspective on eating. Sugar = yikes. That's practically what I lived on before.

  2. I was about to slap your boyfriend if he told you to go on a diet. lol But eating healthy is a good option. But I definitely don't think you need to lose any weight my skinny friend. :)

  3. This is hilarious.
    It's true eating well makes you feel better, but the boys opinions really hurt sometimes...and we almost always as females take it the wrong way. I remember back in my skinny days (yah those were the days) when my bf and I just started dating. He told me he wished I went to the gym. I started balling and thought he was calling me fat. I was skinny. Yeah, funny thing is I think I gained 5 pounds just from the emotional eating on that one!

  4. you had me laughing and intrigued this entire blog post! like elizabeth, i was angry at your boyfriend at first. you definitely don't need a diet! but eating healthier is always a good thing. i'm trying! hard though when i have a coupon for a free frappuccino at McDonalds...

  5. Diet is a four letter word as far as I'm concerned. Eat well, keep moving and perhaps take up kickboxing, for the next time the boyfriend suggests a four letter word!

  6. Diets suck, but it does make sense to eat sensibly. I try to limit french fries to once a week, and I drink about two gallons of water a day. If you make any change to your diet, make it water. And lots of it.

  7. You already ran 2 marathons!! That’s impressive in itself!! I cant even run like 3 miles without stopping for a water break. I suck at running too and my bf is good at it which I hate because he is always like oh hey want to run in this race and I am always like hell to the no do I want to run in the summer heat for fun. I also fail at eating well too. I can eat fruits and veggies but I am always STARVING after and then I succumb to a nice candy bar or a carton of ice cream. Dieting sucks.

  8. Sometimes eating right is hard, but sometimes it is fun! Don't think of it as a diet (that usually helps me cope better) and reward yourself. I love food way too much to tell myself I am "abstaining". You're awesome. Shoot-- I couldn't run two marathons. You're pretty much a beast. p.s. I left you an award on my blog!

  9. eating right is tough, i love the blog poor girl eats well or kaylans kitchen, there you can get healthy food that doesn't resemble a shoe. the fact that you run at all gets you some serious street cred. i found you through the lovely meg, your blog is so cute! i'll definitely be back! :)

  10. Oh...my husband eats exactly like YOU DO! It makes me so nervous. :/ Right now, he has age on his his side (we aren't even in our 30's yet!) However, 20 years and 9,000 packs of gummy worms later and that won't be the case...haha. Anyway, YOU CAN DO IT! Congrats on pursuing a healthier way of living. There is something about autumn that makes me want to RUN. Maybe the same will be true for you, too.

  11. I've always found that the more I work out, the healthier I eat. But I always let myself indulge a little bit. A reasonable portion of ice cream? No guilt here. I agree with you on the word "diet," though. It's a nasty word that puts bad thoughts in people's minds. "Healthy lifestyle" sounds better. :)

  12. im the only dude that reads this? lol
    but on a lighter note have ambitions to complete a triathlon even tho my lifestyle and body comp. say otherwise ha!
    'bring it on son!!!'