Yeah, that's right.
Come on down to the land of thunder thighs and quadruple chins, where the fried chicken and buttermilk biscuits flow like the cellulite on my hind parts.
Okay, he doesn't actually think I'm the large-and-in-charge Oompa Loompa that I'm claiming to be. [See, babe? I was nice.]
he did give me this book and told me to go on a diet.
That's right, a diet. The worst word in the entire dictionary. A word so potent, it can make even the jolliest of men shudder over a warm plate of mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak. Bloated to guilty in .005 seconds.
Have you ever noticed that edit and diet use the same letters? This is no coincidence, since we are all constantly editing our dietary plans. We look to the sky and sing like little orphan Annie "Toooomorrow, Toooomorrow! I love ya tomorrow!" for that is when my healthy life will begin. [Commence eating the chocolate cake.]
Well, I am definitely no exception.
I hate eating healthy. The occasional veggie or fruit, doesn't dampen my style too much, especially if it's on top of a pancake, or caked with ranch dressing. But make it an everyday, five-times-a-day habit?
Yeah, I don't think so.
The reason Grahm told me to go on a diet was not because he was afraid I would soon outweigh him. [Although I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be too difficult.] But I had recently been complaining to him about running and how hard it is and how much I suck.
Last year I completed two marathons and thought I was legit.
This year, I wanted to do the same. But training is proving to be grueling, time consuming, and just horrible. It's always been hard and a huge time-sucker, but it has never been this
un-fun. And I'm only at the three-miler marker.
Ergo, the diet book.
Eat healthy, run better. Yada yada.
Flipping through it merely made me want to hit my nearest Cane's chicken and
order a double helping of french fries.
But [much to my chagrin] it was a little eye-opening. I eat terribly.
And there's just really no excuse for it, people.
This semester, I think I'm going to forego my third marathon and focus on
school, but I AM going to try to eat better.
[Notice I'm avoiding saying the word "diet."]
Maybe, I'll actually drink some water.
Maybe, I'll eat an apple just for the heck of it.
Here's to being healthy in 2010.
[No boyfriends were embarrassed in the making of this blogpost.]