Zits

This weekend I got a zit. That pesky, little mountain of puss that likes to surface on my chin every so often. It usually likes to show its fabulous self after I consume ungodly amounts of Dr. Pepper. Aka post-marathon week.

I kinda started freaking out. I washed my face rigorously. Again and again. I poked and pinched. I even tried new ways of smiling too hide it.

And when the little devil didn't seem to be reducing its ginormous size, I resorted to applying loads and loads of makeup. Thank God for coverup.

Later that night, I was alone in my professor's house [housesitting].

Flipping through channels, I found a gem of a show entitled "Too

Ugly to Love." For some reason I stopped to see what it was about.

All the while, subconsciously, I was thinking I was the perfect candidate

for this show. "Check out the size of that zit..."

"Too Ugly to Love" was a documentary that followed three sufferers of

BDD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It attempted to help them face their

biggest FEAR, the way they look. Those afflicted are overly conscious about

their appearance. They imagine themselves to be severely disfigured, too

grotesque to even be around people.

Granted, these people don't actually have anything wrong with their faces.

They're all perfectly normal. However, their desire for beauty consumes

them. They have no friends, because they don't want anyone to see their

"ugly" faces. They have no money, because they spend it all trying to fix

themselves. They fear cameras and bright lights and the unforgiving stares

of others. Leaving the house is always a huge ordeal. All they really have

is a mirror, and the cold reminder that they aren't the way they wish

themselves to be.

I suppose that we all have a bit of BDD, don't we? Obviously, the

degree to which we suffer greatly varies, but we all believe there

is something inherently wrong with us. I'm not tall enough. My arms

never look good in shirts. My nose is too large for my face. My thighs

jiggle when I walk. My hair is too thin. My chin is too pointy. My lips

aren't full enough. The laundry list of faults we conjure up for ourselves

goes on and on...

We're all guilty. We all allow our appearance to consume our lives,

whether or not we are locking ourselves away in the safety of our homes.

In a culture obsessed with beauty, it's almost impossible not to

fall into the BDD snare. There is always someone more beautiful with

a whiter smile, thicker hair, and a better swimsuit body. We just can't

help but wish for the greener grass on the other side.

It may sound cheesy, but I believe I'm disappointing my Creator when I

have these thoughts. I mean, think about it. He made me, zits and all, just

like this. This is exactly the way He wanted me, because my God doesn't

make mistakes. He could have formed me to be a six-foot, curly-headed

basketball wonder. But He didn't. I can't help but think, if my appearance is good enough for the most important Being in this universe, shouldn't I be

okay with it?

Bring on the zits.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in

my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and

wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

(Psalm 139:13-14)